Chemotherapy today. It's been a month since my first chemotherapy treatment, and I still have hair. Before I started, I asked my doctor if I would lose my hair and she said, "If you don't lose your hair, you will be 2 in 100. There's a 98% chance." Maybe I'm 2 in 100? I did lose a handful in the shower last week, but I have a 12 week old baby, so it could just be post partum hair loss.
My father-in-law has my littles today, and I arranged my appointment time so that I could drop Kaia off at preschool before I went to the cancer center. I saw my doctor today, so I got my treatment at the big cancer center downtown because she works out of that facility. The parking garage is a huge, multi-level ordeal. How there can be a traffic jam inside a parking garage, I don't know, but there is. I had an appointment for bloodwork, followed by an appointment with my doctor, and then treatment. There's always a wait here. I waited 40 minutes for my blood draw. Then I waited to see the doctor. Amazingly, I got in for my chemo "just" 45 minutes after my appointment.
Since the last time I was here, it took 3 nurses and 4 sticks to get the IV in, this time, my nurse used a handy dandy "AccuVein" to find the vein. Interesting technology that shines a light on your arm and makes the veins really to see.
I used my time sitting there to color a picture of a ballerina. Then I taped her to my pole. She's a pole dancer. Ha ha.
Day 30. Friday
Some nausea today, but not awful. I had Mother's Day tea in the morning at Kaia's preschool and then in the afternoon, I went to Sierra's end of the year school party. It was exhausting.
Day 31. Saturday
I managed to help my husband paint the deck in the morning. By evening, my face felt super hot. I didn't have a fever, but I definitely looked really red and flushed across my nose and cheeks. I had forgotten that the same thing happened last time. No angry red mark along my vein like last time, but vein where the chemo went in turned really hard. And it hurts a little if you press on it.
Day 32. Sunday
I'm forgetting the details of some of these days because I'm writing this a week later. Life goes on. I heard a story on NPR about Highly Superior Autobiographical Memory, the condition where you remember specific details of every day of your life years later. I'm glad I don't have that because when all this is over, I want to forget it. I don't want to remember how I felt nauseous and how very tired I was. Of course, I can come back and read these posts, but I'm confident my memories will just fade to this being a challenging time in my life.
Day 34. Monday
I hate how tired I feel. It's not me, it's just me. I find myself annoyed at the fatigue. But I rally. Maternity leave is over, summer swim practice has started, and I'm coaching again. Not my usual energetic self, but I'm trying to make the best of it.
Day 35. Tuesday
Looks like I was wrong about the hair. I was driving home for the grocery store today and I ran my fingers through my hair. Hmm, that's a higher than average amount of hair on my fingers, I thought. I continued to comb my fingers through my hair, and when we got home, I tipped my head over and brushed my hands through my hair. It was a lot of hair.
I'm writing this now on Saturday, and to look at me, you would think my hair looks normal, but I'm losing more every day, a little at a time. I feel like it's only a matter of time until the thinning is so bad that I'll have to shave it. Boo hoo.